A story to tell...

Actually 2 stories.

Some of you may find this funny, some may sympathize, maybe both...I am well, not laughing yet but probably will someday.

First, last Wednesday Audrey to her 2 month check up and took Nathan with us. Being a nice mommy I let Nathan push the elevator button, not such a good idea. We made it through Audrey's appointment with him only hitting the call button in the room once and only trying to escape once out of the room (thank you monkey leash backpack thingy) only to have him throw himself on the floor as I'm trying to get him out of the waiting room area to leave. Luckily when I turned the corner he freaked out and followed ran to find me. He did this once more until we got to the elevator again.

Since I had already let him push the button once he wanted to do it again, once in the elevator he then wanted to hit every button there. (I don't have enough hands!) We'll we made it out of the elevator to only have a major meltdown.

Nathan threw himself onto the floor as soon as we walked out of the elevator and was screaming at the top of his lungs. The receptionist even felt sorry for me and asked if she could help (picture me carrying a car seat, holding onto my child's "leash" and trying to drag him, yes literally drag him out which isn't really working). I told her no and just kept pulling. Finally I put the car seat down outside, walked back into the lobby grabbed Nathan and took him outside. Where he again threw himself onto the ground. I am not sure how I did it, but I finally got Nathan to the car. Total time to get him there, at least 10-15 minutes. Not a super long time, but when people are walking by and staring, it sure seems like a long time.

Then last night at 8:30 I had to send Chris to the store to rent a carpet cleaner. Here's what happened:

Chris was out mowing the lawn and I was inside watching the TV and the kids (obviously not well enough though).

I had just gotten a bottle ready for Audrey and had sat down on the couch and started feeding her when Nathan starts saying something about being "poopy". I look over at him and he has his diaper and shorts off one leg and they're hanging of the other. I started freaking out and yelling at him to stop what he's doing and all he can say is that he's poopy and is whining about it.

Well I quickly set Audrey down, grabbed Nathan and took off the diaper and sent him to grab a clean diaper. He was not happy with me at this point for yelling at him and ran to his room (picture naked bum). Then I noticed something on the carpet, sometime along the way Nathan had stepped in said "poopy" and I now had a trail of it down the hallway and into his room. YUCK! Luckily he had taken off his shoe as soon as he walked into his room and so it's wasn't tracked any further.

So I got a new diaper on Nathan, set him on the couch with the instructions "do not get off" which he didn't, I think he knew I wasn't at all happy with him, and went outside to send Chris for the cleaner and proceeded to clean the living room, hallway and bedroom carpets before sending Nathan off to bed. (In case anyone was worried, I also finished feeding Audrey).

After Nathan was in bed I had a heart to heart with Audrey and asked her to promise me to never trail poop through my house, she not knowing any better has agreed to this promise.

So what I have learned from these stories...I don't have a lot of patience with my child, and twice in a weeks time wanted to give my lovely son away! I haven't yet, but if you see a "for sale" sign around Nathan's neck, you'll know he pulled some other shenanegans and has tested my patience once again! Of course Grandma and Grandpa Johnson may get a call one of these days and I may send him up to them in Idaho!!!